My mum keeps pushing me and being all excited about it and encouraging to go to open days at universities. She wants me to figure out what I want to do right now and start studying and working towards a goal. But I really don't have one right now. I have no idea what I'm going to do, or what I see my self doing in 10 years time, or if I'll be happy about it. I can't make my decision now; I'm not ready for it. My future I used to be able to imagine is rushing straight towards me and I'm finding it so hard to not take a step to the side.

I am terrified.