huzzah
I have exams coming up, which makes me think about what I'd be doing this time next year. Which is the HSC. Which I'm crying about.
My mum keeps pushing me and being all excited about it and encouraging to go to open days at universities. She wants me to figure out what I want to do right now and start studying and working towards a goal. But I really don't have one right now. I have no idea what I'm going to do, or what I see my self doing in 10 years time, or if I'll be happy about it. I can't make my decision now; I'm not ready for it. My future I used to be able to imagine is rushing straight towards me and I'm finding it so hard to not take a step to the side.
I am terrified.
Went to the city today. It was so fun.
I'm getting really tired of life.
Life is so restricted.
You reach a certain age and then you're suddenly bombarded with expectations to fill and the only way you and everyone else will be happy in life is if you get grades above average and grow up and work as a slave to society and earn money and get married and die rich and successful.
You have all of that time which could have been used to explore the world and do reckless things like, I don't know, jump into the ocean, drink until you faint, sit around and admire the stars, but you can't do that because people think you're a failure and utterly nuts, because you don't make sense to them and their organised little minds.
I hope with all my heart that in the other world, heaven or whatever you believe in, you can lie around and do everything that can waste time and it won't even matter because time doesn't affect you anymore.
I can't wait to not exist.
Such a good day. Went out to the Easter Show today and it was PACKED. The crowds were so crazy haha.
But the weather was absolutely lovely today. Nice sun, cool winds, lots of clouds and yeah~
It was so great. It was the first time we've ever gone out as a whole group, as every time at least one of us has something on and can't make it. So it was pretty monumental. I only have less than two years with my friends, and I want to make the most of it.
Happy Easter!
I actually don't like tumblr and twitter that much.
I mean, they're fun sometimes, and I get to talk to friends, but it's way too depressing.
People hate who they are, and they feel alone, which makes me sad that I can't help them at all.